Can you spell your friend's names?

Things that tick me off:

·       Not being able to find a particular coat

·       Vegetable seedlings that refuse to grow no matter how much I give them love

·       Losing an earring, then throwing out the other one, only to find the original lost one

·       People that don’t pick up their dog’s poo

·       Friends who do not spell my name correctly.

I am not a negative person – never have been, and not likely to become a sad-sack of an individual. No matter how bad my day is, I generally wake ready to embrace the opportunities the next day brings. However, this general attitude of positivity, does not mean that I don’t have moments in my day where I feel varying degrees of frustration and disappointment.

The first four items on this list are all relatively harmless. Sure, standing in a sloppy donut of dog faeces isn’t something I recommend, but it is something that I know is caused by shit people (see what I did there?). These selfish people would likely excuse their lack of respect for others, and community greenspaces, by saying, ‘sorry, I ran out of bags,’ or ‘I didn’t see my dog do it.’ Whatever the excuse, they are the type of person that cares more about how they look, or where they are going, than being present in the act of exercising their dog. Most dog people are awesome – but like anything in life, there is a minority that bring the rest down. I choose to accept that I cannot educate these people, and always carry spare bags. Yes, I am that person who will scoop other people’s dog’s poop!

I never had the earring problem until recently. I wore my every-day white gold small hoops without thinking about exchanging for a pop of colour. However, I’ve always been envious of women who wear bold colours – particularly as earrings. What an array of design choices – geometric, fluffy, dangly, fringed, nature-inspired, sparkly, tiered...the whole shebang!

So, in the last few years I’ve navigated this brave new world to wear the unthinkable – colourful, dangly jewelry for the ears. I don’t have short hair, so often they lay hiding, waiting for a hair tuck behind the ear, to demonstrate that I am a bold fashionista. Sometimes I’ll pull my hair back: ‘look at me, I’m that earring woman,’. So, when I somehow manage to misplace one earring, usually in my bathroom vanity, and pull things right and left, turning them over and back, and the missing piece still refuses to show itself, I usually give up and toss the single earring out after staring at it for a month. So, how is it, that the original missing one, just somehow reappears – just like that?! I’m sure it’s more to do with me and not trickery or physics...but still...I wonder...

The missing jacket is a bit like the earring thing. I really pride myself in taking care of my belongings, but when I can’t find a jacket, it is simply infuriating. I try to tell myself, ‘it will turn up,’ but when you’ve gone through your wardrobe, your cane storage (of non-seasonal clothing), the car, the laundry, the garage and it isn’t where it should be, you feel a dreaded sense that you’ve left it somewhere. And then the mind games begin: Where have I been? When did I last wear it? Who was I with? Did I lend it to someone? Why didn’t I put it back?

The veggie seedlings are one of life’s mysteries. I think that some people are not supposed to grow certain vegetables. Yes, it is destined to be that way. I am never to grow eggplant or capsicum – I’m just not. I’ve tried in different climates, different soils, different companion planting combinations – same result. Stunted or no growth. It’s just a fact. I can get ticked off, but I’ll move on knowing it was always going to turn out that way.

Now, for the big one. My name. I get that having an i not a y on the end of my name is non-traditional. My mother was ahead of her era – she understood difference, and I thank her for giving me something unique. I mean, who wants to be just another Kerry? I also understand that having an i in the middle of my surname, rather than the Irish spelling of all a’s is not the way most people recognise the spelling of Flanigan. But, and this is a huge BUT, why do people that I know well, and have seen my name written down many times, why do they continue to disregard what they have seen and spell it incorrectly? And let me also add, that many of these offenders communicate regularly with me via email, or other written forms of media, so it is right there in front of them. There really is no excuse. I’m over it. I used to laugh it off, but recently I’ve received attributions from some of these people, where they have incorrectly spelled my name in print. I wonder if you think I might be over-reacting? I mean, not everyone is a great speller, right? Yes, this is true. But names mean something. Spelling a person’s name correctly, especially if it is going into print, means A LOT! Plus, there is also the fact that my writing is being put out into the world, and a misprint can be costly.

Anyway, on this rainy Saturday morning I wonder if you have ever thought about name misspellings you may have made. Did you recognise your blunder? Did you think it was nothing? Did you apologise? Did you just not care?

Please care. Some things matter and after entering my sixth decade on this planet I have found my voice on this matter. Spell my name correctly and I will do the same for you. And if I don’t, I will be most apologetic and vow never to do it twice.

Because I have respect for you and your name.

Yours sincerely, Kerri Flanigan